"I only have sex on days beginning with T. Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow"
T-shirt seen at Tesco bus station in Hereford
Its the sort of sentiment that scares me in all honesty. The culture of getting sex and not caring about who it was with or where it happens. I noticed it first hand the day after my birthday, DJs in pubs calling for everyone to get smashed because 'its the weekend'. Yeah? So? That means I have to work tomorrow. So do you, so does everyone in this group of people surrounding me. So why are you prancing around trying to 'pull' that girl who you're probably never going to see again. This is the question that needs to be asked to everyone who goes to nightclubs and drinks to get drunk. Why do you do it? Why voluntarily endure a day of pain in the form of the dreaded hangover just for a few hours of elation?
"After sex, the bitter taste, been fooled again, the search continues"
Bloc Party - Kreuzberg
People have asked me before, quite rightly and justifiably a question which I've never really been able to give an answer to when put on the spot like that. They ask 'why are you gay?'. The question doesn't offend me if its spoken with genuine curiosity or intreague with a desire to know more about what motivates people to deviate from what some know as 'the natural path'. Its a hard question to answer but it stems from the decision I made when I was 15 that I wasn't going to be one of those people who sleep with a different person every weekend and then brag about it at work the next day. Then comes the 'uke' decision, anal sex hurts. It hurts a lot, I know that and entered into this knowing this. It baffles people as to how I could choose a sex life which revolved around that kind of pain.
That view always comes from guys. Think about it, there are straight guys who pay to be whipped, tortured, humiliated, beaten up etc. Think about girls, its common knowledge that breaking the hymen (the barrier in the vaginal canal that serves as proof of virginity) is painful. So why do they do it? For girls though that's a one time thing, why endure it far worse every time? It shows devotion that's why. After that first time girls can hand it to whoever they want knowing that it won't hurt, every single time for me will be like the first time. Enduring that pain to give my partner as much pleasure as possible, that's what's appealing about being uke. I want the person I love at the time to enjoy my body in every way possible and if that means enduring a bit of pain myself then I'm willing to do that. Think about it for a little while, you know it makes sense.
OK, that went a bit off from where I intended. However it makes a point I've wanted to make for ages, even if it is just acknowledging it to myself. Think carefully everyone, can you honestly say that there has never been a time when you just wanted to be close to a member of your own gender? Whether its just a hug to show your friendships or thoughts in your mind of something more, its bound to come if it hasn't already. Dismiss it as hormones, morbid curiosity or whatever, because my view of sexuality remains as strong as ever.
We are all born bisexual. We only differ in which side we turn our backs on.
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