About Time

We've all heard about asian gamers dying or being hospitalised after mammoth gaming sessions. Now the Chinese government has imposed a 3 hour session limit on all online games. After this period is up the player must take a 1 hour rest period before they can start playing again. The government is supported in this move by several game developers including Blizzard, makers of World of Warcraft.

DAMN YOU!!

Why must I be handed temptation at every turn?

(from Gamespot)

Manga Entertainment this week added a trio of anime films to the PSP's ever-growing cinematic library. Ghost in the Shell, Blood: The Last Vampire, and Ninja Scroll are now available on the UMD format for $19.99 each.

Damn. The PSP just got so much more essential.

So Is It Worth It?

I mentioned earlier in this crazy week that the DS price was being dropped to celebrate the release of Advance Wars 3 and Nintendogs. So in Gamespot's opinion is it worth getting it for these 2 games?

Nintendogs - 9.1 - Superb
Advance Wars 3 - 9.2 - Superb

Yep I'd say it is.

FIFA Soundtrack....And Its Alright Actually

So that time of year again and EA have released the FIFA 2006 soundtrack listing. The artists that make it up come from all over the world so here's the UK representation.

Bloc Party - Helicopter
Doves - Black and White Town
Dogs - London Bridge
Duels - Potential Futures
Embrace - Ashes
Hard-Fi - Gotta Reason
Jamiroquai - Feels Just Like It Should
LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk Is Playing At My House
Oasis - Lyla
Paul Oakenfold - Beautiful Goal
Nine Black Alps - Cosmopolitan
The Departure - Be My Enemy
The Rakes - Strasbourg

Not bad I reckon.

In other sports game news 2k Games announced the pro players being included in the upcoming World Poker Tour 2k6 game.

Mike Sexton
Vince Van Patten
Erick Lindgren
Evelyn Ng
Michael Mizrachi
Lyle Berman
Antonio Esfandiari
Phil Laak
Mimi Rogers

In addition to that lot WPT host Shauna Hyatt will be taking care of the tutorials and Vince and Mike will provide commentary as usual. Which could make things tricky if they're both sat at the table at the time.

The poker game market is filling up quickly. In addition to WPT 2k6 Activision are preparing World Series Of Poker 2006. The majority of pros that didn't sign up for the WPT game will appear in WSOP 06 including Gus Hansen and Tony G. However, my personal favourite player Daniel Negraneu will be appearing in neither preferring to take centre stage in his own game and neither will Doyle Brunsen who already has his own series of casino games.

Top Ten - Zelda: Ocarina Of Time

Ocarina of Time is 7 years old this year and in all that time has only been challenged once for the title of 'Greatest Game Of All Time'. On release it extracted perfect scores from even the tightest reviewers and since then those perfects remain undiluted. As true now as they ever were. Following it was never going to be easy or even possible but with the latest attempt Twilight Princess delayed for a long time here's some of the best, worst and most memorable Ocarina of Time stuff that you can try while waiting as purely by reading this for this long I know that you own one of the 325,000 gold cartriges of the N64 version and have finished the game 20+ times (or is that just me?)

10 - Hey! Listen!
SHUT UP!! Many a time I have been watching someone play and they have yelled this as Link's fairy 'friend' Navi doles out advice. Some can be ignored, some (like enemy info) is useful but some forced advice is just annoying when playing through for even the 2nd time.

9 - Left-C, Top-C, Right-C, Left-C, Top-C, Right-C
The immortal Zelda's Lullaby. The ocarina whether in Fairy or Time flavours is the focal point of the game and if song names like the Minuet of Forest or Prelude of Light don't send shivers up your spine then you haven't played the game enough.

8 - £20 For The Works
So, the great fairies in A Link To The Past were gentle, typical fairies. So it must be here you think as you enter a Great Fairy's Fountain for the first time. AARRGGHH MY EYES!! Scantily clad, giggling manically and quite scary really. Enough to scar a young boy for life. As it did. To me.

7 - The House That Satan Built
Oh yes. Many a man has been broken and many a controller set to fly by the bastion of evil that is the Water Temple. A 3D maze that was anything but clear as water made even more annoying by the fact that its treasure (the Longshot) was an upgrade to an item you already had (the Hookshot) so you could see the way forward but not reach it. And what was the solution to this fiendish test of your intelligence? FIRE DAMMIT!! The key to the Water Temple was the opposite element! Who the hell would work that out? Even having done it as many times as I have it still causes me trouble.

6 - The Wager
Racing for Epona the horse was and still is one of the greatest mini-games in any game ever. 10 rupees to ride, another 50 to race meant that you had 3 attempts before heading off to refill your wallet. And when you won? Well you got the horse! You also got locked in. Resulting in a heroic leap over the fence which looked and felt good.

That's it for now, I'll be back with the last 5 later.

Double Meaning

Yaoi can be cute, disturbing, strangely arousing or even tempting (at times). However when put like this its just plain funny.

"The Things They Ask" by Divine-Star

It Is Done...

...and its absolutely hilarious. I'll post a link later.

BREAKING NEWS!! TWILIGHT PRINCESS DELAYED!!

Yes this is literally in the last hour or so. Nintendo have pushed back the release date of the new Zelda game from Christmas 2005 to April 2006. In a statement Nintendo said that the team working on the game had requested more time to add more levels and quality check the game more thoroughly.

In the same statement Nintendo gave some slightly better news. The Gameboy Micro will be hitting US stores on September 19th but no price was announced. I expect around $80 (around £65). In some concrete price news the DS will be dropping in price from $150 to $130 this Sunday to celebrate the release of Nintendogs. You may scoff at the idea of a dog training sim being good enough to drop the price of a machine but here's some facts about the Nintendogs launch in Japan.

- The game has shifted 700,000 copies since launch
- In the week of the game's launch the DS sold more units than the PS2 and PSP combined and is still outselling the pair of them
- It is only the 5th game to score a perfect 40 from gaming bible Famitsu

For those who still aren't convinced then be aware that the phenomenal Advance Wars returns for its 3rd incarnation on the same day.

And another thing to finish off what was originally a quick post, the slogan for the DS has changed. Believe it or not its actually got worse. The instant classic 'Touch Me' has changed to another instant classic in the making 'Touching Is Good'. Oh dear.

And yet another thing. Another Sonic compilation is coming out. However Sonic Gems is to include Sonic CD and Sonic R. The soundtracks for those 2 games make it worth the $30 (around £25) price point alone.

JT Update

www.stopstopkill.com
They've put the first part of a new series up. Jack Says The Darndest Things. Read it, its funny.

Emailing Jack
I just emailed him about that Bill Gates threat he made a few days ago. It bounced back so at least we're keeping him out of action. Here's the email if you're interested.

---
From: njsykora@gmail.com
To: jackpeace@comcast.net
Subject: Bill Gates

I'm sure you've been asked this many times since it emerged but if Bill Gates doesn't stop the release of Bully on Xbox in the 50 days he has left what do you, as a solo lawyer considered by many to be wrong in the head consider to do to the world's richest man?

Also, do you have an opinion on www.stopstopkill.com?
---

I'll try sending this again tomorrow and every day until it gets through. If his email ever recovers.

I Rate - Irate

Different name for the same thing.

I Rate
Alkaline Trio
Crimson is such a good album.

The Magic Numbers
As is this.

Shuffle
Best anime I've seen in some time but the non-fans won't stop taking the piss.

The Chobits manga
Compelling is the only word.

Money
Payday on Friday!

Irate
The Fight
Its The Faders all over again.

Matthew Godsall
Can spot a bluff from a mile away.

Allan Saunders
At least pretend you know how to play.

HKS
Can't you at least rescedule Tsubasa?

Rivers Cuomo
Just because.

Jack Thompson (again)

JT's made the news again today. This email was released by Microsoft. Once I'd finished laughing I decided to post it here.

Dear Mr. Gates:

You have fifty-four (54) days in which to stop the release of Bully on XBox.

Govern yourself accordingly.

Sincerely, Jack Thompson

Seriously, does he think that the world's richest man gives a toss about what a Florida nutjob wants? Also I highly recommend you check out www.stopstopkill.com if you fancy a good laugh at Jacko's expense. I also recommend his Wikipedia entry.

I might email ol' Jacko later. He ignored me last time when I said I was a gamer. I'll fish that email out later. I'm actually just checking to see if his email has recovered.

EDIT
I was just flicking through Stopkill.com (JT's website) and my god. How stupid can you get? Here's a tip for any JT wannabes (god help us all). If you start mouthing off for no reason and get death threats....

DON'T PUT YOUR FUCKING HOME ADDRESS ON THE INTERNET!!

Incidentally....

Call Jack
305-666-4366

Visit/Write to/Set fire to/Bomb/Shoot Jack (do us all a favour)
Jack Thompson
1172 South Dixie Highway
Suite 111
Coral Gables
FL 33146

In the meantime until Rockstar release Bully check out their website which is fully decked out in Bully style. Clearly in true Rockstar style, they don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks. And also, check out this little fact. Before Rockstar gained complete notoriety for the GTA series they created Thrasher: Skate and Destroy, Wild Metal and even after GTA took over they created the sublime Oni.

Recovery?

I reviewed PartyPoker.com Poker Den soon after it started and wasn't too nice. Apparantly Jesse May's commentating now so maybe I might revise my opinion soon.

Take Cover

CMD: Enter_fanboy_mode-megaman

"Capcom states that Battle Network 6 will be the series climax suggesting that in some way this will be the last Battle Network game for the time being." Gamespot

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *breath*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Dating Tips - Muffin Style

Most of you know my current one track mind so here's an extract from the dating tips thread on the KragaMuffin Forum.

onheilmagneet
boys will be boys.... always much talkin .. little action...

njsykora
I resent that statement......true though.

onheilmagneet
hahah.. lol....

sorry. no offense
( i like boys... bu still.. )

njsykora
But then there are the jocks. Under E cup need not apply.

onheilmagneet
E is kinda big ... what ever would you do with those things?

Kikomi
I guess, we can all pretty much guess it

njsykora
I can't. I don't quite get what the facination is. (note - this is back in June)

onheilmagneet
me neither...
ok.so them things are kinda soft..which is nice.. but besides that?

At this point this part of the conversation died. Then people started to come out with some real gems.

Hikaru
Stay at home and masturbate.

That's about all you'll be able to accomplish by asking most of the people here
(note - Hikaru lists his location as "A Catgirl's Underwear Drawer")

Just when the thread got back on topic again we got this masterstroke.

Naziar99
Here is a quick dating tip for all you guys out there who need help from the Naziar.

Here is a good way to have a successful date.

First ask the girl her name.

No matter what she says you reply

What a lovely name.
How it rolls off the tongue. Like sweet spring rain. Kissing the plump ripe skin of a nectarine, as it begs to be plucked and devoured.

Once you have made your introduction in this manner you will get sex. No matter how stupid you are the rest of the date that first impretion will assure that you get sex and many other dates if you desire them.

I have tried this several times with success and have yet to not get the sex while implementing this dating tactic.

Long term relationships (over 15 dates) of your normal stupidness will result in a new impression of you not based on your first amazing introduction and you'll prlly get dumped after that.

A way to ruin a first date if you desire to is to say this

Would you like some of my sex with me?

This has always failed to get the sex and second date. Use it to get rid of fat and/or ugly and other undesirable dates.

The moral of this story? Ask people online for dating tips. You'll get years worth of sig material.

Only Without The Outfit

I was bored.


:: how nintendo are you? ::


How evil are you?

In Reality - deviantART Prints

You go to a website, see all that glamour and flashy designs and clicky buttons trying to persuade you to part with your money. In this new series I'll tell you the reality of the what its like to give them your money for something you want. For the first of these experiments I decided to test out a highly scrutinized service. dA Prints.

The Idea
Artists create mind-blowing pieces of art and sell them through dA for a profit on both sides of the argument. Pictures can also be put onto t-shirts, calendars and mugs to name a few alternative products. Buyers get an easy, secure way to support their favourite artists.

The Process
Simple really placing an order. Find the print you want, click 'add to cart' and choose your size, finish and if available a frame. Prints can also be added to a wishlist so visiting deviants to your page who are feeling generous can buy you stuff. It also reminds you what you want.

Next, set the delivery address and payment method. For this test I decided to use my finally active Paypal account. dA only accepts US dollars even though it displays your own native currency when browsing. Changing currencies in Paypal is easy and can be done in seconds. Paying a different currency with a credit card could be a bit more complex. Minor hassle and I'd changed currencies in Paypal before coming to the shop (£10 = about $17 at the time). Click click, instant transfer of money into dA's account. Transfer charges are included in the delivery charge.

Oh, before paying you have to choose a delivery method. US Airmail will get the order to you in about 5 days and is the cheapest option with either airmail letter (big envelope) or airmail parcel (cardboard tube, looks good in storage). Everyone knows FedEx and they deliver in 1-2 days. Expensive though, same sub-options as US Airmail (you know you want that rippy strip envelope). I opt for the cheapass option and pay for the goods.

The Wait
3 emails come from dA during the wait period. The first is a confirmation email to say that payment has been recieved successfully. The second says that your order is being processed (printed and packed) while the third informs you that your order is on its way. I chose to boast and irritate the hell out of my friends during this period. I suggest you do the same.

The Delivery
So, they're here. First thing seen is the big white envelope. Not even the UK Postal Service could bend this thing. Second thing seen is that dAhQ is located on Beaver Ridge. Once I stopped giggling I set about attacking the envelope.

Big White Envelope

Inside were (obviously) the prints but what else? Well 2 airmail letters with cool mini shots of the prints. Printed on the same paper in the same size.

'Peaceful Evening' Letter

'Innocence' Letter

There's also a big bit of cardboard for some reason. The smaller prints come in a natty little photo envelope.

The Reality
dA has become a money making machine and many of its members disagree with that. However the quality of the prints service is undeniable.

Next On 'In Reality'
Amazon.com's Super Saver Delivery. Spend over £19 and get the lot delivered free. With a few conditions.

New Feature

No feature for July due to technical difficulties. August's feature is up.

Missing The Point

Don't post a piece of news that could be interpreted in more than one way. Or you get something like this.

Taken from the comments box at Bother's Bar. Where pissing off the owner is half the fun.

The Situation
Brig had posted a lovingly crafted article about product placement in American shows. And put a referral plug for Amazon.co.uk at the top. File under 'good idea at the time'.

The Comments
Me
www.sendit.com
www.play.com

Both much better than Amazon because of the free delivery thing.

Play don't accept Solo cards though...
Sendit don't sell books though...

OK so Amazon has its plus points though.

Travis
www.argos.co.uk

At least they have now brought back Superplexus.

Brig
No no no, you've all MISSED THE POINT.

Me
Back on the online shopping issue. I just bought £23 worth of goodness from Amazon. It was only gonna be £12 worth of goodness but I needed another £7 of goodness to get free delivery.

The Moral
Don't try and lead a normal conversation with me around.

The Thursday Chart of Randomness!!

Otherwise known as 'I'm bored, lets find something to do'.

All these charts are correct at the time of writing.

Top 10 Most Played Songs In My Library
1: Yellowcard - Way Away (54)
2: The Offspring - She's Got Issues (47)
3: The Strokes - 12:51 (47)
4: A - Better Off With Him (41)
5: The Strokes - Reptilia (41)
6: Foo Fighters - Walking After You (35)
7: Hard-Fi - Tied Up Too Tight (35)
8: Sum 41 - Pieces (31)
9: The Offspring - Gotta Get Away (30)
10: The Subways - Oh Yeah (29)

Crystal

Finally we find out what happened to the crystals when The Crystal Maze finished. They were given to this guy.

For My Wall

Just bought 2 prints off dA. Much easier than I expected actually. £20 from my next pay is going in there. Then I can buy a print from Niku.

GC3 Result

Another result for you.

After taking Cec (TmK) down 2-0 Oliver (FTMT) decided to repeat his success. At my expence.

Oliver (FTMT) bt njsykora (YTMB)
7-0 7-1

Oliver goes to the top of division 1 and njsykora remains at the bottom after 2 games each.

Into The Chamber [GC]

OK, new review up for The White Chamber.

If you see [GC] at the end of a post title then it means that that post contains an update on the Trackmania Sunrise Giant Cup.

Giant Cup Update
Well I've played a match. I got schooled.

Maoul (FMT) bt njsykora (YTMB)
7-0 7-0

I'm proud to have played the first game of division 1 though.

PvP vs PA [GC3 Update]

Rival webcomics Player vs Player and Penny Arcade are at war. On World of Warcraft. The 2 warring comics are creating 2 massive guilds who will eventually go to war on each other. Currently PvP has about 500 members while PA has had to create a second guild after the first reached its member limit and also crashed the Iron Moon server.

I think PA is gonna win.

[GIANT CUP UPDATE]
I begin my campaign in about 40 minutes against Maoul of the french FMT team. Currently Maoul has 80% of community backing. But I've been practicing like a demon on my chosen track.

Tracks
Maoul - Perfect Round 4 (MrA)
njsykora - Scorpius 29/5 (Scorpius)
Golden Map - Commander Fada

For those that don't know the basic cup rules.

Both players select a map from the list of 15. They then play a rounds game, first to 7 wins. If after both maps have been played the score is tied then the golden map is played. The golden map is a multilap track and is played on a first to 5 basis. 3 points are awarded for a win.

Giant Cup 3 - NJ's Road To Defeat

The 3rd Trackmania Giant Cup is underway. I've been placed in division 1. My first match is against Maoul of the FMT team. I'm not exactly the favourite. I'm playing tomorrow so I'll let you know what happens. I just don't want to finish bottom of the division.

The only real action after day 1 is in Division 7 where The Big Boo took out Yokenu of the TsQ team 2-0. Big Boo has also played Frubius and No1Nose (Team YS) but lost both matches 2-0.

2 Months To Go

There was no 2004-05 NHL season due to a major pay dispute and strike action by the NHLPA. However that is now in the past and the 2005-06 season will start soon with several rule changes. The 3 most important ones are...

1 - The red center line will be removed to allow for longer passes without eliminating the 2 line pass rule.

2 - Goaltender equipment (padding) will be reduced.

3 - Should a game still be tied after the usual period of 4v4 overtime it will go to a shootout.

Anyway, technical stuff over so here's the most important start date.

5th October 2005
New Jersey Devils vs Pittsburgh Penguins