In November 2006 I took on the challenge of NaNoWriMo for the 3rd time. This is the story.
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The fields were green, the sky blue, the wood of the tree trunks brown, the sun a bright golden yellow, all in all it was the picture of perfection. Yet it puzzled its sole occupant, a young 12 year old boy who went by the name of Gale. Where he got the name from no-one really remembered anymore, no-one in the world even knew how he got there or why he mysteriously disappeared as often as he appeared. The reason why these mysteries existed was simple, Gale was the only one in the world. There was no-one else to question his existance, only he was able to ponder why he and he alone was able to walk the green fields under the perfect sky. Such deep thoughts took their toll on Gale's young mind and it was never long before he rested, leaning against the solid brownness of the trees. It was in these moments of rest that he slowly reclined and allowed the overwhelming power of sleep to wash over him. Steadily sending him falling into the passage of unconsiousness, until he hit the floor and awoke, reacting to the sudden burst of light and sound that infiltrated his perfect world, the burning white light unlike the steady, gentle rays of heat that beat down from his perfect sun, the harsh beeping shattering the wall of silence that he cherished. Just an endless, monotonous beep, beep, beep.....
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Tony rolled over in bed to face the endless bane of his life that was the black plastic armour of the alarm clock. Why did it always feel the need to destroy the sheer perfection that was the world that he created and inhabited in his dreams? While he was mulling these questions and enigmas over he was brought back to reality extremely harshly by his roommate kicking him in the parts best left undescribed (for now at least).
“OWWWW!!” Tony screamed while rolling around on the floor. “Why did you do that?”
“Because we've got a lecture in 20 minutes and this was the only way i could possibly get you up. God knows I've tried everything else.” Ever the practical one, Tony's roommate Toni (funny on day 1, it became downright confusing as the years went by) was the same age as him, but had her head screwed down much tighter.
The pair were both into their 3rd year studying medicine with eyes on becoming doctors, however Tony's constant laziness was fast becoming a burden as far as that went. His tutors all agreeing that if he was ever to make it in the medical world it wouldn't be in a role as highly prized as the doctor. Nurse maybe, or even Surgeon if he really pushed it. The current high betting among the other students was on Pathologist given his rumoured high 'affection' for the many cadavers that littered the building. Such allegations had yet to be proven true, but always raised good natured giggles whenever mentioned. Lazy and somewhat careless Tony was, but he was also very popular among his fellows. Whether or not this was due to the fact that he was a hilarious performer when drunk or was willing to sexually service anyone (or indeed anything) with (or supposedly without) a heartbeat had never been determined. Again, the betting here was firmly on the drunkeness.
Anyway, back to the moments that followed the crotch punching. It was a talent that Toni posessed to a level that terrified every testicle owning creature in the city, therefore it was only natural, not to mention only possible, for Tony to gingerly limp into the kitchen and sit down just as tentitively, wincing as his giggleberrys touched down on the cold wood chair. Toni couldn't keep a smirk from her face as she grabbed her bag and coat and turned to leave.
“You know, you should get dressed instead of rubbing your nuts if you're gonna make the lecture. Its an autopsy one, lots of cadavers.” Toni's taunts were far more venemous that anyone else's. A luxury that came from living with Tony.
“I still say that I tripped.”
“And landed on top of it?”
“Coincidence is a funny thing.”
“Twice?”
“I tripped over the damn thing!” The defense was solid this time. Toni should know, she set the trap.
“Well are you getting some trousers on or going in your pants? It is cold outside.”
“Shut up.” Regardless of the taunts, theirs was a deep and spiteful friendship. Bound together by the fact that they'd lived together for 3 years and didn't really know how to live with anyone else. Still, it wasn't broke so damned if anyone was going to try and fix it.
Having thrown on a pair of trousers in what could only be described as record time, the pair set out for the lecture theatre. As convenience would have it, this lay barely a 10 minute walk from their house. Hence why Tony could survive his immense lazy streak, even the most critical oversleep could be resolved by a full speed sprint. He constantly proclaimed it to be the best way imaginable to start the day, given his experience of the practice, no-one was really set up to argue with him. The other students preferred to stick to coffee though. After a brisk jog with added wincing as the ache from his crotch's wake up call refused to disappear the pair arrived at the imposing concrete cube that was the lecture theatre. Inside was a desolate landscape of brown chairs and the dusty old projector that serviced the crew faithfully and without complaint. Not like it had a choice after all, projectors can neither talk nor make their feelings known to those around it. It was a machine so devoid of a heartbeat that a few students wondered if Tony had ever had sex with it. Few doubted that story to be honest.
The lecture itself was of the more interesting variety. The topic of the day was no doubt going to be critical in the end of year test that was fast approaching. Autopsy's were the bread and butter of medical knowledge according to the lecturer, a young (for a lecturer) man named Professor Butcher. The lecture lacked cadavers, something that relieved Tony. He thought he'd taken enough ridicule already that day, it wasn't nasty enough to call it abuse. The subject matter was interesting enough to keep him awake though. Not that he made a habit of falling asleep in lectures, Toni had given him a tape recorder for christmas the following year and it had proved a lifesaver for those times when he had succumed to sleep following a particularly ill-advised (but extremely enjoyable) night out. Which was disturbingly often for someone who aspired to take people's lives into his hands. Still, the tape recorder was well used, most often in Toni's hands whenever she lost a bet and had to record a lecture for Tony. These moments were few and far between, hence why Tony had learnt to cherish them when they did come. Usually in bed.
Interesting or not, autopsy's were extremely morbid and depressing. The fact that medicine could only really progress whenever someone died wasn't a nice way of looking at what had been a romantic idea 3 years ago. It wasn't long before Tony's thoughts began to turn back to the usual random jumble of nonsense as he left his tape recorder to do all the work. Besides, he wasn't planning on spending all his career in a morgue, not only were they creepy and stank but they were also really cold. No-way could he sleep in there for so many reasons. Hence his determination for being a full-on doctor, he liked the look of those beds they had in hospitals. Nothing would be better than getting even a few moments of sleep in the middle of a shift. Maybe he would go for a try at sleeping in a morgue though, it would make a good bet with Toni. Those drawers would keep all the sound out too, good for a moment of peace if sleep proved hard to come by. Though he'd need a blanket, it had to be cold in there if it had to keep a corpse fresh enough to become a cadaver.
“OW!” The fist connected with his arm with such force that the fist's owner was never really in doubt.
“Lectures over corpse boy.” Again, Toni was the only one who ever spat true verbal venom at him. To his face anyway.
Tony yawned and gathered all his things, he thanked whatever god is worshipped by the perpetually lazy that he only had one lecture that day. His bed was calling, calling, calling, grabbing him by the collar and dragging him towards town?
“Right, since I woke you up both at home and in the lecture I think its only fair that you buy me a coffee.” Toni was on him immediately.
“What?! Even though you punched me in the crotch?”
“I never said I got no enjoyment from it, I just said you owe me for my services.”
“I'm still freaking limping!”
“Limp your sorry ass over to that shop and get me a Latte then will you purplenuts.”
True, the crotch injury from the morning had more or less disappeared but the thought of it still stung. However, Tony wasn't stupid enough to argue with someone who could perform such an action. Besides, he wasn't exactly short on cash at the moment. He'd traded in a lecture recording for a hefty bet win against Toni. So in a way he did owe her for more than causing him crippling physical pain. With that in mind he paid for the coffee's and headed back to where he'd left Toni waiting. He was stunned, amazed and slightly upset when he arrived at the spot to find her still waiting there. He handed her the coffee wordlessly and started on his way home, only to be tailed by Toni CpD (crotch punching diploma) who appeared to be intent on annoying him as much as possible that day.
Eventually the pair reached home together, much to Tony's annoyance. He had been trying to lose Toni in the backstreets and with his speed. The only effect it had had was that Tony had ended up more awake that when he left the lecture theatre. Which of course annoyed him immensely. After a mug of Ovaltine he headed to bed to try and get some sleep (it was 3pm). All he could hear was the blaring of the TV playing Toni's damn soap operas over and over again. How was it possible for someone with such physical and mental strength to get sucked in by something so pathetically girly? It really did annoy him, and when Tony got annoyed he started to think, and when Tony started to think, Tony started to, to, tooo....zzzzz.....
