Boysex To The Left, Boysex To The Right....

Boysex behind and in front of me come to think of it. Yes I'm in Sarah's room with more yaoi than I think I can manage in one week. I'll do my best though. In the meantime...

You Don't Know Jack Episode 13
Score: $9,638
Rank: 373rd

$12,000 on the Jack Attack saved my ass.

NJ's Canadian Adventure - Day 4

I have something to wonder, why the hell don't we have some of the places I've seen round here in the UK? Places like Tim Horton's and Swiss Chalet, which is like the Hungry Horse but with better chicken.

NJ's Canadian Adventure

8 months in the making, over £1,500 saved up and now only 17 hours of travelling separates me from the real start.

2 weeks
2 cities
10 people

Lots of butt grabbing.

NJ's Canadian Adventure has begun.

NJ's Canadian Adventure - Final Post

10 t-shirts
6 pairs of trousers
7 pairs of socks
7 pairs of underkeks
2 books
2 chargers
1 plug converter
1 plushie
1 dress
1 crotch apron
1 pair of big heeled boots
1 passport
1 set of plane and train tickets

NJ's Canadian Adventure begins in 15 hours.....

You Don't Know Jack Episode 12
Score: $14,896
Rank: 31st

Catchup

My blogging has been shameful this week, so here's a catchup on You Don't Know Jack First.

You Don't Know Jack May 15th 2007
Category: An End To Violins
Score: $2,527
Rank: 304th

Well you wouldn't doubt him vomiting on a world leader.

You Don't Know Jack May 16th 2007
Category: Stamp-ing Out The Dark Side
Score: $2,510
Rank: 162nd

You Don't Know Jack May 17th 2007
Category: Anna Nicole, Where Art Thou?
Score: $3,610
Rank: 56th

You Don't Know Jack May 18th 2007
Category: A Hard Drive Day's Night
Score: $3,134
Rank: 45th

Heads Up

John smugly turned over a pair of queens. He was all-in with 2 players left, only me to get past. Grinning at the look of blankness on my face he reached for the pot only to freeze and go pale when he saw my cards.

Three of a kind, triple 5's.

I threw my arms into the air in triumph and he went ballistic. 6 hours of poker after we started and I managed to wipe out 7 other players to win the work tournament. £55 was the total prize, I haven't decided what to use it for but I sure as hell aren't buying any of the losers a drink.

T'was a good night. YDKJ stuff will be up later.

NJ's Canadian Adventure - The Run-In

7 Days Remaining

With just a week left until take-off its time for the first look at the weather!

This data is taken from 2 sources, firstly from The Weather Channel in the USA and secondly from The Weather Network in Canada. Here's what we're finding out, firstly the average temperature in Toronto for the week we're there and secondly what the weather will be like mainly (rain, snow, hurricane etc)

Tuesday 22nd May to Monday 28th May

Weather Channel (USA)
17C, mostly sunny.

Weather Network (Canada)
18C, mostly cloudy.

Tomorrow I'll probably post up my list of albums I'll be loading my mp3 player with.

Discoverances

I found £10 in my suitcase yesterday. Or as someone else put it;

"That's like finding $23!"

Gotta love the Canadian dollar. Weaker than an episode of My Family.

You Don't Know Jack Episode 11
Score: $8,196
Rank:106th

The Charts - May 13th 2007

Let's see who's enjoying the view from #1 this week then.

1: McFly - Baby's Coming Back/Transylvania
2: Beyonce and Shakira - Beautiful Liar
3: Akon - Don't Matter
4: Gym Class Heroes - Cupid's Chokehold
5: Scooch - Flying The Flag
6: Linkin Park - What I've Done
7: Timbaland ft. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake - Give It To Me
8: Manic Street Preachers - Your Love Alone Is Not Enough
9: Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend
10: Amerie - Take Control

Review - Life In Cartoon Motion

Album Info Box
Title: Life In Cartoon Motion
Artist: Mika

Initial thoughts when you think of Mika are that he's the most annoying thing to come out of Beirut. Then you realise you can't think of anything else that came out of Beirut therefore he gets that by default. However judging this fluffy haired, helium voiced popstar based purely on his 2 big singles (he's had 3 believe it or not) would be a mistake.

1 - Grace Kelly
The album kicks off with the familiar opening and soundtrack to a million nights out that is Grace Kelly. Top of the UK singles chart for 6 weeks and with a chorus designed to make even the most hardened Bee-Gees fan's testicles retract. Despite this it is a song that starts to grow and that you will gradually start to sing along to. That pretty much sets the tone for the whole album.

2 - Lollipop
Horrifically high-pitched yet annoyingly catchy tune is exactly how everyone in the world would describe this song. A single in waiting for sure, especially as musically it changes enough to work as a great party tune. Much too sweet for constant listening though.

3 - My Interpretation
Now we enter what I've come to know as Mika's second mode. From pure bubblegum pop we now move to a song with some considerable substance. Its technically a classic post-breakup song but from the side we're not used to hearing from, the side that actually made the split. This along with the superb music that accompanies the lyrics makes it one of the strongest tracks on the album.

4 - Love Today
And we're back into singles mode. If you haven't heard this sublime slice of pop brilliance then I want to know what asteroid you've been clinging onto. Exploring the full spectrum of Mika's voice from the helium to the normal along with some really strong guitar parts makes it a vastly superior single to Grace Kelly but the ending bit doesn't quite sound right, when you compare it to the shortened video version its easily noticable.

5 - Relax, Take It Easy
The debut single, but easily Mika in serious mode. An eerie tune with some really surprisingly deep singing during the verses gives way to helium boy again in the chorus, but it works. Surprise comes here as this guy can do dark songs.

6 - Any Other World
Astonishingly beautiful. This is a piano-led ballad with the voice rising and falling at the exact right moments which makes it less grating than some other tracks and therefore makes it so much easier to take it seriously.

7 - Billy Brown
Its a story song about a guy who's happily married with a kid who falls in love with another guy. Much as I would love to applaud the intent behind the song and the greatness of the songwriting and music I can't lie in a review. This song is appaling. The chorus, music and most of the lyrics are just terrible. A real low point.

8 - Big Girl
Its a song to dance to this one, a self-esteem lifting song. However it suffers from the same failings as Billy Brown, mainly the fact that outside the chorus its an immensely dull song.

9 - Stuck In The Middle
This song is another sufferer of chronic all-chorus-no-verse syndrome. What started so promisingly is all starting to come apart at the seams.

10 - My Happy Ending
I want to know why this isn't the last track. Back to the mould of Any Other World but the addition of backing singers give it an extra feeling and it succeeds in the same way. Great lyrics, great music, great singing. Would've been perfect as a finale.

11 - Ring Ring
However we get this as a final track and its kicking it up into a song which initially sounds like it could soundtrack a final race in a movie. It has a great climax feel to it which is excellent. After a big, long belch on the way to the end the whole record finishes on a major high note.

Mika is undoubtedly a truly talented musician. Its just such a shame that this isn't shown off as much as it should be on this album. I believe he has 11 great tracks in him, why we have to settle for 8 good and 3 abysmal is something that anyone who buys this album should think about.

In One Line
Many great songs, but also lots of unfulfilled potential.

Seven (7)

Differences

For the record, the James singles collection comes in 1 and 2 disc varieties. These can be compared to the core and premium Xbox 360s. One is the real thing which will allow you endless entertainment from the moment its out the box. The other is a bastardisation of the product which will require loads of further purchases to fully enjoy.

I got the 2-disc version.

I'm moving! Yep, once I get back from the land of the rising maple leaf I'll have a new room in a new place of living. Hopefully where the bastard neighbours don't constantly fuck with the Sky dish. This does mean sorting the internets out though, so the darkness of me not being online may last longer than it should.

You Don't Know Jack May 11th 2007
Category: Zygote You Babe
Score: $1,550
Rank: 278th

Demands

Demand notice from Paypal's debt collectors. I'm not worried as I know I owe them nothing.

You Don't Know Jack May 10th 2007
Category: Don't Hassle The Hoff
Score: $1,580
Rank: 298th

I Feel Pretty

Pics of the whole maidboy outfit WILL be up by Friday at the latest. Possibly even tonight if I feel like it. Maybe even with me in it.

You Don't Know Jack May 9th 2007
Category: Do These Tights Make My Wallet Look Big?
Score: $2,634
Rank: 134th

Frilly Bits

Thought you lot might like these.

The Arrival

Words cannot describe how good a mood I'm in right now, and its all because of a pile of black and white sitting in my bottom drawer. Yes, its here at last.

You Don't Know Jack May 9th 2007
Category: Extended Stay Hilton
Score: $2,659
Rank: 100th

Paris Hilton going to jail with no chance of early release just makes the day better.

Shameful

You Don't Know Jack Episode 10
Score: $306
Rank: 156th

2 Weeks

I've just noticed that on the HSBC travel money page one of the notes sticking out of the passport is a Canadian $20.

All my pay this week is going on money. About another C$380 which would bring the total to C$920 plus whatever I get paid while I'm there. That's a decent chunk of money I reckon. I'll start packing sometime this week, still trying to decide on one bag or two. I prefer the big kit bag we have here to the big suitcase, though I think I'll only need the suitcase.

The message on Pull Tiger Tail's myspazz page is a bit interesting.

"Send Away The Manics"

Hmmm, I think the fact that they're reigniting the evil class war in music is getting a lot of bands a bit irritated.

Little Red Book

Say what you will about Hadouken's lyrics, I have never seen any band have that much fun on set. Most 'Making Of The Video' stuff is just purely on set, not the band taking the piss out of each other in the band or in the dressing room. I like referring to James as the 'Ninja Slinky'.

So, little red book. After 6 weeks, 2 birth certificats, £66 and more worry and stress than anyone should be able to deal with I have it.

"United Kingdom Of Great Britain and Northern Ireland Passport"

10 years of international freedom. The Canadian Adventure is unstoppable.

16 Days.....

Mika

What do you do about this guy? I've naturally been doing my research and what I've found is the ultimate cross section between piss-poor sugarpop and really quite seriously decent songwriting. Here's one example of the latter, his REAL first single. Yep, before Grace Kelly destroyed the charts there was this.

Mika - Relax, Take It Easy

Yo-Yo

The BNP currently looking like they're holding onto their 45 councillers, but unlikely to pick up any more. Not that it really matters as the Conservatives have absolutely slayed everyone in this election. Just look at these numbers.

Councils
Conservative - 155 (+37)
Labour - 31 (-8)
Liberal Democrat - 21 (-5)

Councillers
Conservative - 4,843 (+839)
Liberal Democrat - 1,973 (-460)
Labour - 1,736 (-246)

Still 20 councils yet to declare.

You Don't Know Jack May 4th 2007
Category: Panda XXX-press
Score: $3,042
Rank: 131st

Election 2007

Local elections, the first ones I can vote in and vote I did. The key tonight for a lot of people is the BNP's slice of the pie, already too big a slice.

BNP Government
MPs - 0
Councils - 0
Councillers - 45
Candidates - 400

That's how it looked at the start of the day, 9 of those 45 councillers are defending their seats. Lets see how that's going.

Councillers - 44

Yep, they've lost one. I'll update this in the morning. If the number is still 44 I'll be ecstatic, if its gone all the way to 36 then the Love Music Hate Racism team will be joygasming all over the walls.

'X' Rated

Don't ask me, I just wanted a witty title with X in it. Got a brown envelope from the Passport people today, nothing major. OR WAS IT!!!?

You Don't Know Jack May 3rd 2007
Category: The Pwning Of The Shrew
Score: $2,042
Rank: 184th

It wasn't. OR WA....nope.

Aplopogies

So caught up in great music and sex toys was I that I forgot about Cookie.

You Don't Know Jack May 1st 2007
Category: Let's All Go To The Lobbyist
Score: $3,581
Rank: 14th

You Don't Know Jack May 2nd 2007
Category: All I Wanna Do Is Wipe My Bum
Score: $1,111
Rank: LAST

In other news, I'm giving up my morals and joining Second Life. I'll be seeing for myself what its actually like having read the horror stories.

Albums Of The Month: May

Bugger me is it May already? Let's see what audio delights are unleashed this month.

7th May
Manic Street Preachers - Send Away The Tigers
Elliot Smith - New Moon
Fountains Of Wayne - Traffic And Weather
The Thrills - Teenager

14th May
Linkin Park - Minutes To Midnight
Funeral For A Friend - Tales Don't Tell Themselves
The Maccabees - Colour It In
1990s - Cookies

21st May
The Cribs - Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever
The Used - Lies For The Liars
Maroon 5 - It Won't Be Soon Before Long

28th May
The Pigeon Detectives - Wait For Me
Chris Cornell - Carry On
Marilyn Manson - Eat Me, Drink Me
Mumm-Ra - These Things Move In Threes
The Coral - TBA

Next Month
The likes of Biffy Clyro, The White Stripes, Paramore, Velvet Revolver, Smashing Pumpkins, Calvin Harris, The Polyphonic Spree, Simian Mobile Disco and Editors populate the list.